Kris Jenner is the real life version of Regina George’s mom
"GOD I LOVE BEING MEXICAN", I say after a huge sigh and unbuttoning of my pants after eating tostiloco, ice cream, and chorizo con papa tacos for dinner.
hot guy in the drive thru called me “ma’am” I just got mom zoned
i miss getting party bags at the end of parties why dont we still do that party bags were the best part of the party
It was like a reward for being sociable
MY MOM SET A TOWEL ON THE COUNTER AND IT JUST FUCKING CAUGHT ON FIRE
THERE WAS NOTHING NEAR IT IT JUST SPONTANEOUSLY COMBUSTED
Is your mother Spencer Shay
He just gets slowly less concerned
Grab her booty in front of dudes who want her.
Grab her booty in front of women who want you.
That second one means so much.
im in the mood to non stop makeout right now
so oxygen went on a date with potassium today…it went OK.
i thought oxygen was dating magnesium…OMg
actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like “NO”
I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins
looks like someone’s a HO
i’m done with all of you
So I finally found the science side